My Heart Will Go On: Charlie O'Connell on why he's so over Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day is the worst. It’s there to catch you out, really. You’re damned if you’re coupled up, and damned if you’re not.
Let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day was annoying enough to begin with, but now we live in the digital age, and social media has made sure that 14th February become an even grosser occurrence. How cringe are those insta-captions from people you follow, celebrating “V-Day with this one?” * Listening in on nauseating plans, being told about how “cute” [insert name] was when he woke you up with cheap bubbles and a box of Thorntons. Honestly the whole thing is grim and, horrendously tacky.
If I sound bitter, then fine, I am, but it is truly infuriating. I was chatting to my housemate about this annual vom-fest. He told me it is undeniably cringeworthy, but it’s something that every couple HAS to participate in. Yeah, but why? Did you sign a joint contract promising to observe this sacred day? Isn’t that what your anniversary is for? Why do you need a specific day to show your significant other that you love them?
The flipside is the miserable fate of being single on this dreaded day. Aside from being reminded that you are alone, it makes monsters of us all - look at me having a full on rant and going to the lengths of having it published online. I’M FINE I SWEAR.
I suppose Valentine’s Day is sort of sweet. Maybe I shouldn’t be so critical of a day which is supposed to be filled with happiness. However, it honestly seems as though Valentine’s Day is an anxiety-causing 24 hours. People who insist they don’t celebrate it are lying. It would be a bit crap if your partner didn’t do anything to acknowledge your existence despite being very much told to by both society and Hallmark. So many people claim, “oh we don’t do Valentine’s.” Well aren’t you chilled?? But also, surely, you’re lying? C’mon Chloe, you know you would rage on the group Whatsapp if Nathan didn’t even bother to wish the missus a happy v day. (Names changed to protect identity)
Besides, perhaps being single on Valentine’s Day is the way forward. It shouldn’t really matter if you’re team bitter (moi) or team tragic (Galentine’s Day – sorry not sorry). If you’re flying solo on V-Day and manage to live through it, then you’re winning at life. (Unless you post anything about your “hot Valentine’s date night with PIZZA.” If that’s you, I have no sympathy).
So, if you want to take anything from this tirade, let it be this: celebrate the one/ones you love whenever you want and don’t let evil Cupids like me get in your way. As for us singletons, live your life and carry on as if it’s any other day. 14th Feb, thank u, next.
*to be honest, anyone who refers to their significant other as “this one” is an insufferable person regardless of whether they used the phrase online or IRL. Realistically, it’s baffling anyone likes them.
** ditto people who use the abbreviation “IRL”
- Charlie O’Connell